Nobody can be so revoltingly smug as the person who has just given up smoking....

I'll be fucking smug if I want to, demmit.  I think its quite an accomplishment.


74 days Nicotine Free!


The reason why I am bring it up - again - is because I got a few emails asking how the non smoking is going so this is both an update and a brag post.


I must say I still miss it.  I still think about it - a lot.  I still watch people taking those long slow drags and wish it was me.  Pulling the smoke deeply into my lungs and exhaling slowly.  I don't think its a habit you kick quickly...  


But then... As it was pissing with rain all night last night and this morning, I put on  my drimac jacket this morning.  I haven't worn it since the last time it rained, which was our December camping trip!  
I didn't notice immediately but, when I was driving to work, I wondered where the smell of smoke was coming from.  I sniffed around the car like a wee mouse.  Crinkling my nose up and following the scent trying to locate the source of the smell...It was my jacket!  



It stank like stale old cigarette smoke.  WOW!  I couldn't believe how strong it was and that I'd always walked around smelling like that.  It wasn't nauseating but it was potent.  I couldn't wait to get to work to take it off because it made me just want to puff away. 


I must admit.  I did stare longingly at my e-cigarette which still sits in my pencil holder on my desk.  I did contemplate taking a wee puff but thought - fuck it, I've come this far.  Don't cock it up, Scots Lass.


I didn't.


Are you proud of me?


I'm off to bin that fucking jacket.



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21 days Nicotine Free! I gave up smoking but I'm not a quitter...

Society says that it takes 21 days to break a habit or form a new habit.  I dunno, I say that's utter bullshite!  I think it might be a wee bit more.  


Its been 21 days since I quit sucking on the Cancer Sticks and when I'm stressed it the first thing I want to do... I think you associate smoking with certain things, certain people and certain places and that's when you crave it.

For me, the craving in strong when I get in the car or when I'm having a glass of wine with my pals or if I have had an emotional day.  Daft Scots Lass needs her nicotine and it hasn't been easy.


Anyone who has been a smoker, will tell you that it takes tremendous amount of willpower to quit nicotine.  It is never easy when you quit, the withdrawal symptoms can almost force you into going back to smoking. I don't want to become one of those ex-smokers who pull their nose up and viciously fans the air in front of her nose when someone lights up.  I don't want to be one of those ex-smokers who preachers to smokers how bad it is for them and carries around pictures of people in advanced states of mouth cancer.

We all know its bad for us and its our choice to either continue smoking or to quit.  Who am I to say what is best for the next person.  I smoked for 20 years - who the fuck am I to now state its a filthy habit?


Anyhoo....the first few weeks are fucking hard! 

I'm certain that takes a good 10 to 12 weeks to really take your mind off smoking and even then you still think about it often.   Now, that works out to 84 days (not 21 days as everyone says).  They've been bullshitting me all along...humph!


They say that nicotine creates a chemical dependency, a sense of void that can be filled with smoking nicotine, as smokers would like to perceive. The withdrawal symptoms include headache, nausea, inability to concentrate, craving for smoke and, most of the time, ex-smokers take up another habit to take their mind off the nicotine.  This sometimes lands up being worse than the nicotine habit itself...

Bring on the Heroine, Hookers!


I feel like I'm talking in circles.  Perhaps I'm delirious from the lack of nicotine and tar...

Och I dunno, what do you think?
 
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