Fridays Shoegasm, a few Fawk Yous and a 55

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0JBjfXlJID0zMuROCK7-rH0hEQVtRJ77wIJJf8YYacjsDBid496jlzRKphc3z3dd3Lq_StgTzVif832ytfcF043blzRFnl_ueR83qKIzrM4iX8y0vuy7MQ9ae923IPgCeKPZniGQ3orQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>


Take my button, leave a comment that you're linking up so I can come and visit your favourite pair of heels!


Fur Stiletto Boots $59.99 from Dollhouse

Fabian Sequin Platform Pumps $49.00

$70.00 Kingston Platform Patch Pump

Pedalz Satin Ruffled Platform Sandal $52.00



Bonsai Wedge Flower Sandal $49.00
 


Valdemia Wedge Strappy Sandals
  $49.00






Go and link up with Boobies and Christy and share your Fawk Yous for this week!


• Fuck you to Nandos for the first crappy flame-grilled chicken burger that I've EVER had from you guys.  I've been a dedicated fan of Nandos for 18 years and this is the first time that I have had food from you guys that was rubbish.  I was shocked and disappointed beyond belief - but I still LOVE you!  Nandos fucking rocks my knickers off!
• Fuck you my office that is so damn cold.  My nipples are sore from the constant pointing.
• Fuck you to the shortage of petrol.  I had to drive around to four different petrol stations at lunch time on Thursday to fill up my car.
• Fuck you to Caburys. This week I bought the girls a strip of Caramello Bears and not one of the bears had the "Tum full of Toffee" (as advertised) they were all made of solid Cadburys milk chocolate.  Hey who's complaining? But I did miss the yummy Toffee Tummy centre.  Sssssh, I know I'm not meant to be eating chocolate. 

 




Flash Fiction Friday 55 is hosted by G-Man and I haven't taken part in a while but I decided to give it another go this week. 

Is there any answer?
Knocking at the old red door
It sounds empty
Vacant and hollow
Is anyone there?
Staring through the mucky window
To be met by a blank void
Unoccupied
Where is everyone?
Isn’t it pointless pounding against a locked door
with no one behind it to open up
and Let me in?




Have a BRILLIANT weekend, Plonkers.  Don't forget to enter my competition - Caption my Freaky Photo #13.





Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20flash%20fiction%20friday
Visit tattoo design 2011 for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

Fridays Shoegasm, a 55 and Fawk You Friday

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0JBjfXlJID0zMuROCK7-rH0hEQVtRJ77wIJJf8YYacjsDBid496jlzRKphc3z3dd3Lq_StgTzVif832ytfcF043blzRFnl_ueR83qKIzrM4iX8y0vuy7MQ9ae923IPgCeKPZniGQ3orQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>





Another dreich day in Johannesburg.

So lets cheer ourselves up by seeking out some awesome heels.  Oh yeah, it was between that and chocolate today and chocolate is a no-go.

Take my Friday's Shoegasm button and join me in posting your favourite pair of funky stilettos.   



$324.99 from L.A.M.B.



Baby Phat Casidy Heel $34.99



I don't usually post flats but these caught my eye.  They look so natural and rustic.  Like you could roll 'em up and smoke 'em.    Apple Bottoms by Nelly $34.99

LoriBlu Jeweled Blue Satin Sandal $550



R315 on Bid or Buy





This graphic artist, Taylor Reeve, hand paints her pop art on all sorts of different canvases.  Here she's painted on the soles of a pair of funky stilettos.  What a brilliant idea!




Its Fawk You Friday!  So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and find expression for all those bottled up feelings of anger and frustration towards anyone and everything that pissed on yer battery this week.




• Fuck you to the hackit school teacher that did not allow my Megan to go to the bathroom when she asked politely.  Poor sweet Megan tried to hold it in but eventually wet herself. All because of some teacher on a fucking Power Trip.  I'll take that Bitch down!  I wrote a strongly-worded letter the principal yesterday and I better have some feedback soon!
• Fuck you to the wet winter weather that is'nae good for our leaky roof.  The other night it poured down our walls.  Rain! Rain! Go Away, ye manky bastid - Och just Fuck Off!
• Fuck you to the thumb tack I sat on yesterday in my office.  Ah'mno sure if some Bawheed executed a practical joke on me and placed it on my chair, or if it just fell off my pin-board on to my chair.  Well, the all-embracing cynic in me is I going with shithead playing a practical joke.  I will find out who you are - I will seek revenge.
  
  
  

  
  I'm taking part in Flash Fiction Friday 55.  You need to give G-Man and visit and tell a story in 55 words.  I haven't done it in a while but I had some inspiration this week.
  
  
  
  

  You gave me a fright in the supermarket isle.  I was distracted by shopping when you surprised me with your visit.  I kissed you and beamed.  It was indeed lovely that you popped in just because you could.  It’s the little things that make my day.  It’s the little things that make my heart glad.
  
  

"I'm wearing Scottish underwear today; I love the nice breeze"

Now Plonkers, you have ONE more day to Caption my Freaky Photo and win so click on the link and go leave a comment, if you haven't already...


Share |
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20flash%20fiction%20friday
Visit tattoo design 2011 for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

Fawk You Friday, Shoegasm Shizzle and a Fizzy 55

So it's Fawk You Friday again!  Can you believe it?  Well my lovelies, head on over to Boobies, Babies and a Blog and link up.  Have some stinky cheese with your whine and let it all hang oot!

My Fuck You's this week:


Fuck you to my car's clutch cable that snapped in the middle of a busy traffic circle during rush-hour at 4pm in the afternoon just about 500m from my daughter's school.  All those fuckers peeping and gesturing for me to get out the way.  Where the fuck must I go when my car doesn't have a clutch and I'm on an incline.  Do I crawl up my own arsehole? Piss off!  

However, My Knight-In-Shining-Boerewors came to my rescue with tow car and tow rope.  Smart man!  I was in tears on the way home because I didn't know how to keep the rope tight without my breaks smelling like they were going to explode or trying to view all this through streaming tears.  

Story not over.  It happened again yesterday!  It snapped off mid-busy intersection and my Knight-In-Shining-Boerewors had to come to my rescue again.  He deserves a medal for coming to the rescue again, even though his wife was screaming down the phone at him.  I'm deeply sorry for taking out my frustrations on you!  I would rather evacuate my bowels in a public place than go through that again.


Fuck You to my stupid scale.  It hasn't budged since I started gym two weeks ago.  I thought I'd have lost at least 1 fekkin kilogram by now.  Urgh!  Keep plodding along on that Orbitrek machine, gurl!

Head on over to G-Man and sign up for Flash Fiction Friday and write a complete story in 55 words.  Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.



Sugar Free and yet sweet
Dark and Lovely
500mls of soft,
carbonated black beauty
Caffeine and Phenylalanine  loaded
Nice constant Buzzzzz
4 kilojoules of yumminess
0 grams of guilt-free fat
40mg of Sodium that’s 2% of your GDA
GDA – Guideline Daily Amount
Recyclable Plastic Bottle
Chug it down
Aahhhh!
Coke Lite does it for me!













Its Friday's Shoegasm over at  Peace Love Appelsauce
Go Link up and enjoy all the Heels



$669 at FabCrush



Orange (my favourite colour) Louboutin Knock-Offs $142



For the up-and-coming Royal Wedding  from Irregular Choice

Irregular Choice GBP79.99

Irregular Choice GBP129.99




I wish someone in the UK could send me a pair of Irregular Choice shoozies.  I'm a SA Size 4 if anyone wants to surprise me for my birthday in June.



I couldn't help but throw in a handbag because its so damn cute from Irregular Choice for GBP79.99.  Boy, do they have the most adorable accessories or what?. 


Have a BRILLIANT weekend and don't do anything I would do.  Bazinga!
April Fools!


Share |Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20flash%20fiction%20friday
Visit tattoo design 2011 for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

Flash Fiction Friday 55

the
silly
season
is over
the tinsel
and baubles
packed away.
Fluffy red hats and 
wellington boots never
suited the southern hemisphere
anyway. The stores all have their 50%
sales - getting rid of Christmas stock so soon?
Nothing Lasts Forever. Isn’t it sad and heart-breaking
that its all over so quickly?
Until
Next
Year
..




Head on over to G-Man and sign up for Flash Fiction Friday. 
 Its easy, you try to write a complete story in 55 words.




Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20flash%20fiction%20friday
Visit tattoo design 2011 for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

Day 13 - The 30 Day Blog Challenge and Friday 55

Topic :  Your Favourite Musician and Why


"In Some respects I suspect you've got a respectable side..." - Jack White

My favourite musician is Jack White from The White Stripes.  He's an incredibly talent musician and artist.  The band has a unique sound, I love their red, white and black outfits and Jack White's guitar playing is genius! When he slides those bluesy guitar riffs, I'm completely smitten.  Oh and he's not bad lookin' either.... 














Its Flash Fiction Friday 55 over at G-Man
Try writing a complete story in only 55 words.


10 White soldiers
Standing toattention
Straightand true
Assembled inperfect formation
4 – 3 – 2 -1
Constructedto take a pounding
Again andagain and again
Trained tobe gunned down
Tumbling withskill
Taught toarise from a walloping
Blood redrings around their necks
Ten PinBowling Pins are bad ass



Fawk You Friday
Join us in venting some of this week's frustrations over at Boobies


Fuck You to the booze at yesterday's Christmas Function.  My colon is in agony today.
 



Go FlogYoBlog at Random Ramblings of a SAHM
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20flash%20fiction%20friday
Visit tattoo design 2011 for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

55 Freaky Friday Shizzle - Office Christmas Parties

Join me and G-Man and hundreds of other bloggers playing Flash Fiction Friday 55. Try writing a complete story in only 55 words.  I did this one in exactly 5.5 minutes (it shows but I left my Friday post far too late)…






‘Tis almost the season to be jolly
Fa La La and all that folly


Christmas is full of prezzies and fun


Family, friends, dry Fruit Bun


We love the anticipation


We love the spirit


Eating ourselves silly on festive food, gerrit?


Santa, don’t give us junk we don’t want


Listen, and don’t be a cunt





I'm venting again this week with Boobies' Fawk You Friday.


Fuck you to the allergies that have infected my children's bodies this week.  I have no Medical Aid (Medical Insurance) left until January and I have to pay the Doctor's fees cash upfront and its not frikken cheap!  Neither is the fucking meds that he prescribes.  Luckily, I can claim it all back from The Tax Man but only at the end of the tax year, Dipshit! 


This made me think of one of my favourite Beatles songs..enjoy!



 
 



Freaky Friday
Theme : Freaky Office Christmas Parties


Are your Office Christmas parties as Freaky mine?


I dreads the office Christmas Party at the end of the year because there's always one Fucker who drinks way too many bevvies and lands up trying to put his tongue in yer ear.  There's usually some Dooshbag who does a very unsexy strip-tease down to her nylon tights, flesh-coloured bra and parachute knickers.  Not attractive...


There is always The Freaky Voyeur who parks in the dark corner like a drip snapping pictures and taking video footage of all the inebriated activities and then thinks its hysterical to post the footage on You Tube and images on Facebook for all to see. 


There is always some sad Bitch who drinks too many margaritas and pours her heart to you - confessing her dark freaky secret and then you're supposed to look at her in the eye for the rest of the year.  All of a sudden, you've become her BFF just because she told you her Twisted Sex Secret that she loves to be covered from head to toe in cling wrap in the bedroom. 


Don't forget the asshole who requests Boney M from the DJ every half an hour.  Is Christmas the ONLY time of year we dust off our Boney M LP's?  Oh yeah, I know you've got one hiding in your collection too.  Oh, I can hear you singing Little Drummer Boy already....  Barruppa Pum-Pum...


What about the old hag from Accounts, who is ninety-in-the-shade, who insist on wearing the most ridiculous and embarrassing home-made Christmas outfits complete with jingling bauble earings and living up to her "jolly" name?  Ho Ho HO!


Are your office Christmas Parties like this?


Or is it just me that works for a bunch of fucking weirdos and freaks?






Slobbering Boss trying to tongue fuck your ear

Wanna suck on Rudolf's Red Bits?






Forget the Tree. 
Why don't you all gather around me this year?








Go FlogYoBlog at Random Ramblings of a SAHM
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20flash%20fiction%20friday
Visit tattoo design 2011 for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

Freaky Friday, a 55 and Booty Bouncers

Join G-Man and hundreds of other bloggers playing Flash Fiction Friday 55. Try writing a complete story in only 55 words…





Count blessings instead of your crosses;
Count gains not your losses.
Count  joys instead of woes;
Count friends not your foes.
Count  smiles instead of tears;
Count courage not your  fears.
Count  full years instead of your lean;
Count  kind deeds not your mean.
Count  health instead of  wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself.





  
And now that I've counted my blessing....
I'm going to vent with Fawk You Friday hosted by Boobies


• Fuck you to the organisers of our Year End Function.  They treated us like fucking mushrooms by keeping us in the dark and feeding us shit.  They've now gone a put a spanner in the works and switched up the teams.  Now we've gotta start planning all over again.  We always have Plan B..
• Fuck You to the national air lines who have hiked their prices way beyond my budget to more than double their normal prices for December.  Now I can't afford to go see my mummy for Christmas with my girls.  Fuck that for a sorry story...



 
Go FlogYoBlog at Random Ramblings of a SAHM








Theme : Gross Me Out!









Is this bloke for real?

Mankinis leave NOTHING to the imagination


Is this Skank Ass Ho for real?
 I killed myself laughing at her "supposed" sexy booty bouncing
while the fucking cat just sits there, stretches and snoozes.
Hysterical.


There is a whole following of these Booty Bouncers on You Tube. 




Have a kick ass Weekend, Freaks!
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20flash%20fiction%20friday
Visit tattoo design 2011 for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection

Flash Fiction Frdiay 55 and Other Arb Shite

The G-Man hosts Flash Fiction Friday 55.  Go visit him and give him some love and join hundreds of other bloggers playing the writing game. Write a complete story in only 55 words…


Scary and Creepy
Chilling and Bloodcurdling
Children stalk the neighborhood
Concealed behind masks and home-made Halloween costumes
Sniffing out the households with the best candy
Giggling, chuckling and playing practical jokes
Straining  to bite the dangling treacle scone  hands-free
and Bobbing for apples
Respect the dead and leave the Ouija board alone
Or else…bwaaaaahaaaaaah











Yay! Its Fawk You Friday hosted by Boobies


Let rip...


Fuck You to the South Africa electrical thunder and lightning storms that keep my sobbing children clinging to me like wee leeches when the forked lighning shoots across the sky and the cloud bang together.  My poor wee buttons are terrified and then my bed has to be shared.  Four bodies in a double bed is not a laughing matter...


Fuck you to my brand new expensive mascara that I can't fucking wear because it causes my eyes to burn like all hell shite fire, itch like an Arab's sand mite-infested crotch and ooze attractive yellow puss.  So much for expensive is the best. Humph!


Fuck you to my bastard shit-face laptop that kept crashing this week and giving me fucking weird html errors on my blog.  Geezo, I tried over a dozen times to get my Bloggers Ink Challenge posted - and on top of that - I still managed to royally fuck it up.   My poor Boerewors had to spend hours reloading everything just so that I could make Half-Nekkid Thursday aka HNT in time.  So a huge THANK YOU to My Boerewors for making it happen and having the patience to put up with my constant slamming of the keyboard (sometimes it does work - most times it doesn't).


Fuck you to conspiracy theories...there are many things bubbling under the surface at the moment.  All to be revealed soon (if I'm not bound by a Confidentiality Agreement, that is)  
 



 Go FlogYoBlog Friday at
Random Ramblings of a SAHM 
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20flash%20fiction%20friday
Visit tattoo design 2011 for Daily Updated Hairstyles Collection