Monday Male - El Jefe Goes to Vegas Part 2

Another Guest Post by El Jefe. 

Here is "El Jefe goes to Vegas" Part 2.  

Be sure to read Part 1 HERE first.



My friend shall remain anonymous (you know who you are!)

My friends and I had been up all night, at the clubs and then in the casinos. It was about 5am and we ended up in the Golden Nugget Casino Restaurant. At 5am, there are alot of old people eating the buffet breakfasts that are served in the casino restaurants. We were definitely the youngest people there.

One of the girls in the group was pretty gullable and pretty drunk. We convinced her to walk over to a table with an older couple and start dancing like Michael Jackson (She was actually a great dancer and did choreography for the Austin Ballet.) I forgot to mention that "Thriller" had just started playing on the speakers in the restaurant.

She walked over and broke out the moonwalk. She then started doing the whole Thriller dance routine. The old guy at the table started yelling at her to get away from them. Thing is, when she starts to dance, she does not want to stop. She ignored him and just kept dancing. We are cracking up at the table. It was hilarious. You have to picture a drunk girl dancing Thriller for old people who do not want her dancing it! 

She continued, nailing the Thriller dance step by step (pretty impressive given that she had been drinking for about 8 hours straight). The old man, about 80 years old, clutched his butter knife and raised it. I was the first to see it and I yelled "KNIFE!" It didn't phase her. She kept dancing. All of a sudden, he took a swipe at her with his dull butter knife, glancing her leg. He stood up and swung the knife a second time, hitting her in the arm. That is when she finally stopped and walked away, all the while the old guy is cussing up a storm.

She comes back to the table, mad at me because she thinks she almost got killed. She actually had a big butter swipe on the front of her pants. I had to explain to her it was just a butter knife.

Now, more hilarity ensues as she tells me, "I don't care what kind of knife it was, they all can kill. He could have punctured a vein or something in my leg and I would have bled to death." Everyone is cracking up again as she is ranting and raving about her "near-death" experience. The girl is actually getting mad because she thinks we do not care about her.

This is when I take the butter knife sitting on the table and show it to her. I show her that there is no serrated edge, no point, nothing that could puncture the skin. Unless he stuck it in her eye, nothing was going to happen. The table is cracking up so much that we are asked to leave the restaurant. Partly for the dance display and partly for the fun that we are having. 

Anyway, we head out and she just starts crying and crying.  Mumbling about how we were going to let her die.  Then, she passes out in the lobby and we carry her to the elevator and up to the room.  But the fun is not done yet. 

We grab some packets of ketchup and swipe a butter knife from the restaurant.  When we get her up to the room, we put ketchup on her pants and shirt so it looks like blood.  We put the butter knife in her hand.  Everyone sleeps.

We are staying in a suite.  There are 8 of us in there and we all are woken up by a shrill scream at about 10am.  Our friend is freaking out, thinking she had been stabbed.  She runs out of the room with ketchup everywhere.  I really wish I had a video camera!!!  


Needless to say, she was a little upset with us and did not talk to us until the next day.  Looking back, she laughs at it more than we do - But at the time, I think she wanted to take the butter knife and poke our eyes out!!!


Bazinga!


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Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male - Through a Bloke's Eyes

My Main Man, El Jefe who has an award winning blog (just like mine, of course) has agreed to become a regular Guest Blogger over here. 

What do you think aboot that? 

Are you as excited as I am?  Not yet?  You will be.   


I think he's fucking hysterical and I'm sure you'll love him too. 

Originally from Ames, Iowa, El Jefe is currently a Spanish and ELL teacher in Iowa coaching football (aka soccer) and basketball.   He's a family man who likes to run, play soccer, read, play the guitar, write songs, and lounge around the house in his boxers. 

Go visit over at El Blog de Steve.



From a Guy’s Point of View…


My buddy and I were talking this week and, as usual, we got to talking about women.  We came to the conclusion that there are a lot of guys on the internet that write about relationships, they act like they know the opposite sex or think they can explain them . I think it is all crap, that these guys don't know the first thing about women. I have dated a lot of women, been around them for most of my life, and I would never say I am an expert on women.  I don't think any guy can.  
Today though I will set a few things straight and explain some undeniable FACTS about the fairer gender.

Women don't poop


I have never seen a woman “lay a log”, nor have I ever heard one express the fact that they got the "green splats."  I bet there is some scientific research out there that says women don't produce any excrement and also don't fart. (sidenote: because of this you can no longer refer to a women's ass as a Hershey highway and you absolutely cannot refer to yourself as her personal brown eyed master.) 

Women like it when you say, "You are just like your mother."

There is no way to end an argument better, she will instantly be happy and will agree with anything you say after that.  If she replies that she will, "cut your willie off for saying that" she is just playing around, but make sure you hide any cutlery in the home just to be on the safe side.
Dutch Ovens are an acceptable, no wait, preferred form of foreplay
Women like the way men smell, this is just a natural extension of this theory. Try it tonight, I am sure she will stay under the covers and not come up for air for a long time.

A casual reminder that a pair of jeans makes her ass look fat is considered to be very helpful

In order to look out for your woman, make sure you let her know, without her asking, that she looks fat in a pair of jeans. They will appreciate you looking out for them.  She may be mad at first, but then she will realize that you are protecting her and actually paying attention to her.  Brownie points galore for this one. 

The most romantic thing you can do after a night of drinking with your friends is to…-

Sneak into the bedroom, take off your pants, and tap her on her forehead with your willie saying, "Mr. Wiggly wants to play." There isn't a more romantic way to wake a woman up, 9 out of 10 women escorts surveyed agree! 


There you have it guys! Make sure you employ this knowledge and these techniques as soon as possible for a happier and healthier relationship. Ladies, there is no need to thank me, I have given you a voice that you have so longed to have
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Dirk is not a blogger yet but is a member of our HKGK Camping Group and I have been friends with him for 10 years.  He is a local boi, born in Johannesburg, South Africa studied Graphic Design and is currently a Design Manager for a Travel and Cargo publication. 

Not only does Dirk have a quick, silly wit and a brilliantly wicked sense of humour, but he is an incredibly creative soul.  Dirk said his ideal job would be as an artist on a fantastic beach with a pub nearby (probably with half nekked pretty girls running around - No, make that nekkid girls running around). 

Dirk has a hobby in photography and has taken some incredible shots of us as a group and has recently spent a small fortune on his camera and all its accessories.  

Its his "baby".


What inspires you to get the perfect shot?



The lighting and exposure must be perfect. I want the reaction to the photograph to be ‘WOW!’.

Dirk On Life

Are you proudly South African? If not, where else would you be in the world?

Yes. Still won’t stop me from going to South America and the far East.

What do you do when you close the Mac? Or does it never really close?

Start up my PC to play games or do some freelance work.  I also go out and socialise with friends and family.

If you or someone had to write a story of your life, what would you call it? And would you play the leading role?



Round and round we go!  And I would definitely not play the lead role. Gerard Butler can do that.

What would the theme song to your life be?

Making love out of nothing at all – Air supply.



Dirk On Family

You come from Dutch heritage. Tell us about that.

Born and bred in SA by emigrated Dutch parents. Dutch was our 1st language at home.

You have two grown up sons. What advice would you give to a young dad with two boys who has a long road ahead?

Enjoy them and encourage them. BE HONEST BUT STRICT.

Dirk On Love


Whats the biggest challenge being a proverbial bachelor? (note for Dirk : apart from getting laid)


Not falling into them same trap as previously.  Bachelor life is great but lonely at times. Thank goodness for mates and GIRL Friends.

Would you get married again if Ms Right came along?

Hell no! One mistake was bad enough. (LIAR) who knows what wonderful woman is waiting around the corner.

What are your five non-negotiables in a woman?


• Sense of humour (need one to be with me)
• Honesty
• Communication
• Adventure
• and boobs (no dick)

Dirk On arb shite

Boobs or Bums?

Both. And pretty eyes.

Whats playing in your car right now?

Nothing. Radio is kaput.



What would you be doing on a typical Sunday night?

Driving home after an awesome weekend with friends. Maybe a movie while lying on the couch like a typical male (in true Al Bundy style) after a long hard weekend.


So there ye have it.  Thats our Dirkus!  Any single girls can contact me for his direct mobile number.  (As long as you have boobs and no dangly bits). Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Blasé wanted to run away and hide from the Blogosphere for awhile because of all his sudden pressure in his life, but SB (his lovely lady who needs a gold medal for puting up with all his crap) came through with encouragement and his confidence has returned.

So, here he is -  for the second time on my Monday Male feature -  the eloquent, the ever-classy - Blasé.


All About "HO"

No, I will not be speaking Ghetto talk, nor will I be wanting you to sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas. Just be patient and do the 'Michael Jackson, 'hold-your-crotch' thingy...and you'll understand shortly.



SweetBaby and I owned a ranch home in a rural county here in North Carolina a few years ago. We enjoyed fixin' 'er up and making it "our" home.  I spent much time in the yard (it was a half acre lot) conforming the yard to my standards.  It would be a first for me.  That is, having a yard exactly the way I wanted it.  It would take hard work.  I cut down many trees, planted countless of grass plugs and several varieties of trees and bushes.  I built a wooden buffer fence along the back yard and then painted it with a Blue-Gray stain.  I designed the yard in such a way that it received a compliment of- "Your yard has character" from a passer-by.  What I just shared with you doesn't have a damn thing to do with my story...I just wanted to boast about an accomplishment of mine.


I enjoy music, but only if it is singing / playing to me in HI-FI... great quality HI-FI.  One particular day in the beginning of our moving transition, it was time to re-wire the stereo system.  Otherwise, I'd be sitting in my recliner staring with depression at the JBL Tower Speakers only to be listening to my wife jibber-jabber about things that she really needs to be sharing with her female friends who might just give a shit.


This was a two-man job.  Yes, I said "man" because it is quicker to do it that way, than to type-"person".  I had SB stay inside the house stationed where the wires would be manipulated.  I would be doing my part of the deal which would partly entail me squatting underneath the house....and also trying to spot any potential snakes before they spot me.


I had previously drilled holes through the flooring / carpet in order to insert the wiring through.  The plan of attack was for me to push the wires up to SB, and then SB would grab the wire and pull the said wire until I gave her indication that it was time to stop pulling.  The problem was I didn't give SB a prior 'heads-up' of what that signal or word would be.

So, I handed SB a wire through the hole and she takes off with the wire as if she was afraid someone was going to steal it from her.  Either that, or she always wanted to know what 'looting' felt like???


Well, needless to say, she was taking too damn much wire.  I needed her to stop, immediately.  I holler- "HO!".  Now, you must understand that where I come from, 'ho' means Stop.  Unfortunately, me and SB were raised in different Counties, so she didn't even comprehend the 'h', she just got the 'o' part of it which in turn caused her to interpret my command as being- "GO!".


Every time I yelled out - "HO" (I'm actually screaming 'HO' as if I were watching 'The Exorcist')... she kept pulling that wire just as hard as her big ass could pull.  I was angry.  I mean, I was- 'daring-any-snake-to-show-its-smirking-face-just-so-I-could-bite-it-off' kind of angry.


I go back up inside of the house and ask SB - "What....the ......FUCK..are you doing?"


"I was pulling, you told me to GO"


"No, I was yelling - HO"


"Well,.. what.... the...FUCK does HO mean?"


Ever since then, we use the term 'HO' as our private inside joke for different situations that call for it. For example, when SB is pouring my beverage (she enjoys doing things like that for me), I will say "HO" whenever I need her to stop pouring...


So, there ya go... All about HO.


Go and experience his "Box of Chocolates" for more warm, touching and inspiring soft-centred stories written by this charming, sweet southern gentleman (I'll bet he's never been called that before) at My Game...Its Your Move. Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Riaan is an IT Technical Manager and a computer fundi aka geek. He also just happens to be my Boerewors and the father of my two beautiful girls. We have been married for 10 years and together for twelve. He is the love of my life and so he also deserves a Star Spot on my Monday Male.

Riaan constantly puts up with hearing stories about people he doesn’t know (my fellow Blog Friends in Bloggerville) and has had to deal with my obsession with blogging for two and a half years. He deserves a Blog Award for that one!! He helps me edit my html format from time to time, although I’ve become quite good with that too.

What’s it like being married to a 5 foot nothing Scottish redhead?


Well, what can a say, Scottish woman are feisty! Wouldn’t have it any other way though. Just as quick as her temper flairs up, just as quick it comes down. She is the love of my life and I am very lucky to have found her. She is the mother of my two beautiful daughters and she gives me everything I need.


What’s she like as a Mum?

Her kids means everything to her, she will go out her way to do anything for them, sometimes to her own demise. Kaylin has the knack of getting the better of her every now and then! She’s always cleaning up after the kids when they made a mess, with lots of complaining, but she still does it. She always thinks of the small little things that makes their life so much easier.


On Blogging


What do you think of her blog and her blogging?


At first I didn’t take much notice of it, was something to keep her busy. Now my mom, dad, sister and my brother (he’s in London) looks at her blog to see what we are up to. I guess it’s “our” little place in the interwebs to tell everybody what we doing and that we are still alive!

What’s the biggest challenge you deal with regarding this?

I sometimes have to fight for some of her time, most of the time when she gets home she plays with the kids while I cook. After we done eating she jumps on her blog to approve her comments and post her days events etc. Then it’s bath time for the kids and sleep time, by then we both are dead tired and just hit the bed to get some rest. Just so that we can repeat it all the next day!


Did you buy her a laptop so she could blog anywhere and everywhere?

She was always complaining that she wanted to sit in front of the TV or lay in bed at night to “blog”. So for her birthday I got her a laptop (and keep her from hogging my PC) so that she could blog wherever she wants. At least I got some brownie points for buying her a laptop!

On Family


What is the most important lesson you’ve learnt by becoming a dad?


I always tell people that you have never experience love until you have kids. It’s just such an unconditional love that one has for your kids, you just can’t explain it.

Oh and before we had kids, you see the dads taking the half eaten sweets from their kids and eating it and you think - “I will NEVER do that!” Well, half eaten sweets aren’t that bad to be honest!


Whats the most important lesson you can teach your children?


NEVER trust strangers! Unfortunately this is the day and age we live in, sad but true!


That they can speak to me about ANYTHING, they must be able to trust me and I won’t be angry if they did something wrong.


On Work

Have you always been a computer geek?


Yes I have, I can remember I was in Standard 5 (Grade 7) and I said to my dad, “One day I will work with computers” It’s always been my passion.


Did you trying and built computers as a child?

Since I can remember I've been “tinkering” with computers.


What is the most exciting project you’ve worked on as an IT person?


In 2000 when I was working for IBM, I was sent to North Carolina in the USA for 4 weeks to write a book with 2 other guys. It was a very nerve wrecking experience but one of the most exciting moments in my life. Having your name printed in a book!


What would be your perfect job?


Where I have to do as little as possible and get as much as possible?! I’m always trying something new to make money, who knows! Maybe one day I’ll hit the jackpot!


On women

Have you ever written a poem for your sweetheart?


My poem writing ability is not be one of my strong points.  I have stopped counting how many poems I have started and deleted cause I just couldn’t find the words I was looking for. However there has been a few poems that finally reached my sweetheart.


Does love at first sight exist?


Yes I believe in love at first sight! We are a good example of that! Gillian and I moved in together after only 3 months!


Boy shorts or g-string?


G-stings for the win, boy shorts on a woman just don’t do it for me.


What are your five non-negotiable in a woman?


Be alive?  This is a tricky question as I believe it’s the whole package that makes the woman and not just specific things.

Bum or boobs man?


Both!

On randomness


What song would you choose as the soundtrack of your life?


Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle.


One thing you like about living in SA?


It’s such a beautiful country and has so much to offer, stunning weather and amazing country sides. So many people live here but never explore what SA has to offer.


Thank you, Babe for finally agreeing to do Monday Male, even though you complained bitterly that there were "too many questions". Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Meet Brian Miller who is a fellow blogger that I visit often.  His poetry inspires me.  Brian is very happily married and is dad of two gorgeous and adventurous boys.

My life is a storybook, and most likely yours is as well. Its all in how we tell it. I like mine as an Action / Adventure / Romance?  I have lived, loved, lost and when I was not expecting it, love found me.



At the time, she was a ballerina and I was getting out of the hospital from trying to run myself into the ground with bad lifestyle choices. She walked through the door and I turned to the friend next to me and told him I was going to marry her one day. We kissed in the snow and exchanged numbers written in orange colored pencil because that is all we could find.


Somehow, this led me to dancing in the Nutcracker, though I will never admit to wearing tights. Really I did not, it was billowy Arabian guard pants with just a little vest off the shoulders. Sorry no pictures survived. Dancing together did wonders for our early relationship though?


heat &
rhythm
tease at the
edge of me, as she
lays against my chest,
sliding along my arms, until
only our fingertips touch, carrying
the spark, then spinning away, takes
my breathe with her, prancing, begging chase,
i am helplessly but to pursue my
swan princess, dancing
en pointe upon my
heart leaving
rhythm &
heat.

Passion is something that seems to wane in so many marriages. Its not all physical, but you can't really lose that either. On a regular basis, I try to find new ways to show my wife how much she means to me, whether it's a note, or writing about her or even doing the dishes (gasp). It is all about the pursuing. She is the best thing that ever happened to me and should be treated that way.


Currently I am a therapist with kids that are at risk of being removed from their home. Every day is a new challenge so it keeps it interesting. I worked in the corporate world for many years in management and training and also worked for the church. All of my jobs, in some way, have revolved around helping people.


It's my superhero complex.  But really, no tights.


I started Waystationone about 17 months ago. The first 6 to 7 months I was just vomiting facts about my life which I'll admit was rather boring. I decided to start telling stories from my life to one day share with my boys in hopes that they can glean some wisdom.  About 90 to 95% of my blog posts are true stories of my family and people I have met.


Everyone has to find their own style and voice though.


Along the way, a few friends have joined my journey, which I am eternally thankful.  It is amazing to me the friendships that can develop between people that have never met beyond the blogosphere.  Like any relationship though, these don't just happen.  You have to work at it.


Many of my best blog friends were met through Theme Thursday or Flash 55.


On nice days, you will usually find me in the woods or off on some adventure with T and the boys, my notebook in my back pocket to collect the stories.  I also enjoy reading and I am working on my first book right now.  If there is anything I hope you get out of a visit to the waystation, it is that we really are much the same.  Our stories may be different, but we have faced many of the same challenges and as we walk together, maybe we can help each other avoid the potholes.


Hope to see you soon.


Thanks Gillian for the honor of being your Monday Male!

If you love poetry, visit his blog and leave a comment or two.Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Meet our 6th Monday Male

Mark is a South African in his mid thirties with a thirst for life and the need to find the meaning of life.  He is a father of three, has been happily married for 13 years who enjoys writing, photography, surfing, running and snowboarding.  He has two sons and 10 weeks ago he became a dad again, this time to the most adorable wee girl-child, Isabella. In between all of this, he is rebuilding a truck called Tweety.

I started my blog Ranting's of a mad man about two years ago in a state of disillusioned madness. My life was beginning again after a graceful exit from the corporate world. A world I found to be filled to arrogance with money, power, and outrageous values. And yet I was disgusted with my own need for recognition in this very place that disappointed me so. 

Truth be told, I was tired! Tired of the meaningless input of effort into a big machine that rewarded me with pieces of silver, but secretly took away far more from me in the process! I had willingly surrendered my spirit, the best hours of the day, all my energy, and almost sacrificed the life I had with my young and growing family, at the very time when they needed me most!


My blog has since become a tongue twisted outpouring of my tortured spirit, as I have tried to figure out a better path for me to travel. A path hopefully filled with family and love. A journey together with others instead of under the guidance of my narcissistic instincts! Hopefully by blogging I will find a book within and challenge other men who find themselves in my old space. I also hope that my writing ability will grow, become exciting, and filled with a real message of love. Most of all, I hope that as I try to find my way in this world I inspire others to do the same! I have a lot of hope!


Something I wish somebody had told me about being a dad:


Gillian, I have chosen this question of yours as this is one of my favourite topics. I don’t apologise for sounding harsh and uncompromising as I believe that most men think they are great dads but in reality have no idea of the power they wield and the devastation they cause in their children’s lives without even realising it!


Being a dad is a big thing. Being a mom is massive, but I think we all know this. We know that we cannot do without moms in our homes but it seems to me that dads are viewed as an added extra. An additional bonus, if you will, one we can well do without.


I really believe that society is happy to excuse fathers from their role at home as dads. Why? Who knows, but there certainly seems to be an understanding that men have little responsibility on the home front. Their job is to go out and work, and possibly to attend the odd school function.


I wish somebody had told me that the decision to become a dad is in fact a decision about an incredible sacrifice. A sacrifice that is hard and time consuming but also potentially the most rewarding one ever! Once one has children, their wellbeing must always come first. When we put our own needs above our children’s, they watch and they learn. And then one day in life they go out and do the same thing to everyone else.


I wish somebody had told me that the power we have as parents is awesome. We can shape our children to mirror our failures by continuing to be our selfish selves. Or we can take this innocent being and stunt their growth and destroy their potential through our own weaknesses. We can of course also choose to work harder at using our power wisely in order to give our children the best chance of becoming adults that lead fulfilling and valuable lives.


I wish that somebody had told me that my kids are worth more time and energy than just the stuff I have left over at the end of the day. In fact they are worth the sacrifice of my getting ahead at work, of my deadlines, and the fun I like to have. The investment I make in them now while they are kids is one of the most valuable I will ever make. If I wait till I have time and energy, the moment of my greatest impact will have long past.


I wish somebody had told me that quality time is a myth, children need all of the time that I have and more.


I wish somebody had told me that my success as a parent can never be measured. All I can hope for is to see my children grow up happy!


I once heard of a beautiful concept, that a parent has just seven summers with their children, from when they are able to really interact until they are teenagers. In this time, we as parents get to build a relationship with each of our children that will allow us to guide them through crucial phases in their lives. Most teenagers find their parents influence far less important than that of their friends or music. Interesting enough, at this very time, so many men find themselves fighting hardest to progress in their careers. Some will find success with their careers, but most will find their children turning into people that they do not know.


To all the real men out there, stand up, put more effort into your children than your job, and lets make a valuable difference in our children’s lives!

Wise words indeed....now go and visit his blog.

Thanx again, Mark.  I know that you have been a busy man lately and I really appreciate you taking the time to contribute to my wee blog.
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Mick is not a blogger YET, but a total gem and I thought I'd introduce you to him.

Mick just happens to be my older sister, Janie's partner.  Their love story is pretty amazing.  Janie and Mick met online on the big www and, after a few visits to South Africa, and less than a year later, he moved from the UK to be with her.  I guess they just couldn't bear being apart.

Mick was born in a small village called Ardeley in England, which is near Stevenage in the County of Hertfordshire. He lived there (or near there) for the first 20 something years before getting married and moving to a town called Royston.  Royston is steeped in history (if you wish to look it up).  Mick has an older brother, Kevin who has 5 children and 3 grandchildren and a younger sister who has 2 children and has just become a granny for the first time.

Mick makes his living as a welder, having set up his own business in South Africa making security products and balustrades..or anything else in steel.  Need a job done?

One month after his arrival in South Africa, Janie got pregnant.  Mick is a first time dad and their beautiful little girl, Claire Jane, is now 7 months old.  She is Daddy's Girl and the apple of his eye.  Janie has two children from a previous marriage (Ryan and Dylan).   

What was it like meeting your soulmate online?

That is a difficult question to answer. Why? Well how many of us speak to lots of different strangers online from many different parts of the world; I can answer that, lots of us. Then you meet that person.....the one who knows what you are thinking........the one you know what they are thinking.


And it is not just a stroke of luck, it still happens now! When I met Janie she had just come out of a difficult marriage, I had only been living on my own three months...but despite these facts we got on like we had known each other for a life time. So to get back to your question, IT IS LIFE CHANGING TO MEET THAT SPECIAL PERSON.

What was the final decision that made you move to South Africa?

Janie’s indecisiveness........no seriously, let me give you a brief history of how things went. We started talking two years ago and pretty soon we talked everyday then in the March I flew over from the UK for a long weekend........yes a long weekend arrived Thursday and went back on the Sunday. Mad! Probably!


Then at the end of April I came back out again......should of been for two weeks, but a controlling ex husband put pay to that and I went home on the Wednesday after arriving on the Sunday morning. Then in June we planned it better and I came out for a longer time and we went down to Durban and to meet Janie’s Parents. After going home then it was time for Janie to meet my folks so we planned a trip for her in August, we spent 11 fantastic days together. Janie had not got half way home when she sent me an sms saying she was going the wrong way.....we both wanted to be together. After several conversations, she was coming to me, I was coming here we decided I would come here at the end of October, then I got a letter saying my Landlord had declared himself bankrupt so I told Janie I am giving my notice and coming over......3 weeks later I was here!

Was it difficult to leave your family and country behind?

Yes and no! Difficult to leave my Dad behind as his health was and still isn’t so good, he is not only my Dad but my best friend too. Leaving the country, no, the long term plan is to return to the UK when Ryan and Dylan are old enough to stand on their own feet. It is still difficult when he is unwell but has a good Warden where he stays and she keeps me updated and he is only a plane ride away.

How have you settled in?

I think I have settled in well, yes it is a different culture but Janie has been there to guide me. I have realised some of my dreams. I have a beautiful Daughter, a great person to share my life with and my own business. I have had more fun since moving here, in the last 15 months than I have in the last..........lots of years. I find the people that I have met have all welcomed me with open arms. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Janie’s family for everything; they have all been good to me.


How did you feel when Janie told you she was pregnant?

Well that was something really special, I never thought I was going to be a Dad, I can remember that morning so vividly. We kind of knew she might be pregnant......the signs were there....no monthly!


So we went out to Supper the night before, I went to the pharmacy while our drinks were coming (no we never had supper in the pharmacy!) Next morning Janie gets up, takes the pregnancy tester and heads for the bathroom. See you in a few minutes she says.......less than a minute later she was out!


It was a difficult time, Janie was concerned what Ryan and Dylan would think.

I am one lucky man, Thank you Janie for giving me this special gift.

How has becoming a dad changed your life?

I don’t think that becoming a Dad is the only thing to have changed my life, the whole thing.......moving to another country, being with the love of my life and becoming a Dad have all contributed to my life change.


But it is a special thing and I am immensely proud of the two ladies in my life.

Do you have any regrets?

Simple to answer that NO

What’s one of your secret wishes?

I have no secret wishes …….I am just happy to be where I am right now. The only thing I want to do is to bring my daughter up to be a good person and to spend the rest of my life having fun with Janie.

Where do you see yourself in the future?

Well who knows! If you had asked me that 2 years ago I would not have said "living in South Africa". One thing I have learned is go out and do it........don't get a few years down the line and say "I wonder what would of happened if".


Thank you for participating in our Monday Male, Mick.

Now you need to go register and start blogging!Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Meet Bob (not his real name) from NoWriter, JustAnOverthinker who is another interesting Scotsman who's blog I love to visit.

Oh great thanks to Gillian and her Monday Male, I have a chance to talk about myself in a new arena, just the excuse I need. I suppose those of you who don't know me might wonder who I am. In the blogging arena my alter ego is known as Scotsman and my blogging home is No Writer, Just An Overthinker.

 As you might guess from that I am Scottish. I can be found living in the Good Ole U S of A in a State where the people rarely understand my accent. The reason for living there? Well that comes down to having met a Chilean woman, only the second Hispanic I ever met, what happened to the first? Well as nice as he was he just didn't do it for me.

What else can I say about me? I'm a protestant Glasgow Celtic fan, which to the rest of the world probably doesn't mean that much but if you were from Glasgow and knew the history of the place it might go some way to explaining why I no longer live there. I have two step kids, one six, one a couple of weeks shy of being four who both have been converted into loving their 'chips' but on occasion think I'm too 'Scottish.' Kids!

I started blogging because I wanted a book deal, a movie deal and a biography deal. Actually that's a lie, that sounds like too much pressure and commitment for someone with no writing skills. I blog because its fun and I occasionally need an outlet for the pish that rolls around inside my heid.


Now to the questions that Gillian set, I was hoping for multiple choice but nae such luck.

1. Where were you born in Scotland and when did you leave to go to the good ol' U S of A?

I was born in Glasgow in the year of the snake a few hours after the King of Rock N Roll died and moved to the USA last year not much more than a few months before the King of Pop died. Sounds egotistical but I might be bad luck to musical royalty.

2. Are you a true Scotsman in the sense that you're stingy with your money or will you, on occassion, buy someone else a pint?

I'm careful with my money but if I've got it I'll spend it. Though you won't find me in a bar in Utah very often, thanks to the Mormons its kind of hard to find one.

3. What is the best thing about being married to a Chilean woman?

Oh thats easy, milk chocolate nipples. They are better than Tunnocks Tea Cakes any day of the week.

We are surprisingly very similar despite our upbringing so its probably a close run thing between my poor attempt at picking up Spanish and my lack of dancing skills that give my new family the most laughs.

4. Why do most men refused to ask for directions?

Men like the scenic route. Dr Livingstone wasn't lost, he was exploring, meeting new people.

5. As a Scotsman - Celtic or Rangers?

I was never a season ticket holder due to not having the time to take Saturday's off work so I never saw a Celtic vs Rangers game at Parkhead. However when I was younger and a student I did work at Ibrox for a season and a half as a match Steward. As a result I did take in a couple of Rangers vs Celtic games. I spent most of the game looking up to into the stands with my back facing the pitch so instead of enjoying the game I was looking at around 15000 very angry Rangers supporters while their team was getting beat. Any time I heard the words "He's a Celtic fan!" I would shrink a little more into the neck collar of my jacket until I determined that the person shouting was pointing at me. On those match days the walk to Buchanan Bus Station after the game seemed to take a little longer.


Why the rivalry between the clubs? I don't know. Could be its not helped by the fact that they are the two biggest clubs in Scotland, the Ireland connection and the fact that young people are inventive when it comes to keeping warm on a cold Scottish night.

6. What would be written on your gravestone?

Here lies a few bones and lots of hungry creepy crawlies looking for their next meal to feed on.

7. If you had a movie made about yerself? What would it be called and who would play your role?

What Did He Do? A first time actor I had never heard of and wouldn't hear of again.

8. Does it matter to men whether she has natural or fake boobs?

It matters to me that my wife has some very fine natural ones.

9. Who is your alter ego and why?

Other than blogging I'm too lazy to have an alter ego, now give me the remote to the tv - oh wait there are more questions?

10. What do you think would make men and women live happily ever after?

Not even bank managers believe in fairy tales anymore.

11. If you could have a super power for a day, which would you choose and why?

It would be nice to be able to click my finger and instantly have the dinner of my choice laid out in a plate before me. What do you call that power? Greed or a restaurants worst nightmare?

12. Do women pre-judge men on their outta wrapping?

Of course. My wife thought I was flaco (that's Chilean for skinny) and anorexic, but this flaco like Dr Jekyll hides a secret and is actually a chancho (that's Chilean for pig) by night.

13. Do blondes (I'm talking women naturally) really have more fun?

I don't know about the fun element because I've never really been attracted to blondes.

14. Do you belive in love at first sight?

I don't believe it works for the blind.

15. A threesome. Who would your two women be and why?

I ain't a juggler and despite living in a the US I don't feel the need for a lawyer, a psychiatrist or depression pills, I'm happy with one woman at a time thanks she more than keeps me happy.


Is that the end of the spotlight?

Thanks Gillian for the opportunity to borrow your blog for a bit, but now I need to get off the brown leather chair and do some real work.

Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Well, its been a week since our first feature of Monday Male and so its time to introduce Kim Ayres to you.  He is a wonderful Scots blogger over at ramblings of the bearded one . 

Kim aged 43, has 2 children, 3 stepchildren and 3 grandchildren. He has been with his artist wife, Maggie, for 19 years and has been in the midst of a midlife crisis for about 25 years (no end in sight yet...). He is a philosopher by education, a portrait photographer by profession, and a musician whenever possible, playing the mandolin and bouzouki at local folk sessions.

Kim's claim to fame is from when he was 17 years old - the landscape gardening firm he briefly worked for used to do the grounds of John Paul Jones, bass player of Led Zeppelin. JPJ spoke to him once, uttering the profound and life changing words, "You can put those grass clippings over there...".

Life changing stuff indeed...

Five years ago Kim weighed 85lbs more than he does now.  When questioned about it, he will reveal there are two secrets to weight loss. Firstly, is to concentrate on eating healthily and allow any weight loss to be the side effect, rather than the aim and the second is to understand the multiple reasons why we eat more than our body needs in the first place, and develop strategies to tackle them. It works, but he never said it was easy.  Kim has a separate blog monitoring his weight Losing a Hundredweight. 

So, if you want an answer to anything from our dear Kim, be sure to mention whether you are after the 30 second or 30 minute reply, otherwise he WILL talk your ears off for hours on end.

I adore reading his blog and keeping up to date with his ramblings. 

Here are Kim's feature questions and answers:

1. What are your five non-negotiables in a woman?

"Non-negotiables" implies an idea of dominance and of laying down the law. And while this might work with some people, it doesn't with most of the ones I know - including my wife. Tell them that this or that MUST NOT be done, and the temptation is to immediately go out and do it. Consequently, I've found the best way to move forward is through discussion and finding the points of mutual understanding.

You could say the primary desire is that we both want to be together and to make our relationship work. Everything else follows from that. If that desire is strong enough, we can overcome any obstacles. If it isn't then it all falls apart.


Finding a list of 4 more is unnecessary - either something contributes to, makes no difference to, or takes us away from, that primary aim

2. What do you wish someone had told you before you became a dad?

I don't think there's anything anyone could have told me to prepare me for the reality of fatherhood. It would be like advising a 10 year old boy who still thinks girls are stupid, on the best ways to interact with women - until the change happens, he wouldn't have the concepts and framework to understand what you'd tell him. Truly understanding what it feels like to be a Dad is incomprehensible to someone who isn't.

3. Do you think women prefer men with beards?

There's a definite split here. I've sat in a room with a group of girls going on about just how much they despise face fuzz, which I must admit I thought was rather tactless. But my wife loves beards, and would be horrified if I shaved it off. In the 19 years we've been together, she has never seen my chin. And on the occasions I've suggested it, the look she has given me has made it quite clear how she feels about the issue. I don't think it counts as a "non-negotiable," but it must be pretty damn close where Maggie is concerned

4. What is the correct answer when your woman asks, "Does my arse look fat in this?"

There is no correct answer - it's a lose-lose scenario. However, "Maybe I'll write a blog post about why women are obsessed about how clothes affect the size of their arses..." is a good way of ensuring I don't get asked again.

5. If you had to take a photo portfolio of someone famous, who would it be and why?

Someone with an older, more interesting face who wasn't worried about having to look young and glamorous. Expressive faces with lives etched on to them are infinitely more captivating than some plastic smooth skinned 23-year old. Helen Mirren, Maggie Smith or Keith Richards leap to mind

6. If you could sum yourself up in one photo you have taken, which one would it be and why?

I don't think it's possible to sum someone up in one image. We are 3 dimensional creatures who live through the movement of time. A 2 dimensional image of 1/250th of a second is an idea, a momentary representation, and certainly not an accurate Truth. It would be like trying to sum up a complex piece of music in a single note. A good portrait then, is a construct to fashion a mood or concept that creates an implication of something beyond that 250th of a second. For the past year or so, I would say my favourite image of myself is the one from this blog post. 

7. Why do you think so many men cheat on their spouses?

This is not an area I have any expertise in, never having cheated on any woman I was with. Perhaps I just felt so fortunate any woman would want to be with me in the first place, I didn't want to risk losing her. Perhaps the "right" opportunity never presented itself. Perhaps I knew I would feel so devastated myself if it happened the other way round that I could never inflict that on someone I loved. Whatever the reason(s), I cannot imagine ever cheating on Maggie, so don't feel in a position to give you an answer to this question.

8. What is it like for you and your family having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?

Crap.

9. What is your favourite motto for life?

That life is entirely about the journey, not the destination. There's only one final destination for all of us and we never know when it's going to arrive, so it's vitally important we enjoy the journey. We keep putting life off until the kids have left home or the mortgage is paid off or until we retire. But what if we never get there? Well, then we never had a life. We have to make the most of the now.

10. Boobs or Bums?

This completely and utterly depends on the mood I'm in. Either can dominate my attention or desires.


Here is some of Kim's brilliant writing.  Very powerful and profound stuff.  Go have a listen to the audio written and read by the gentleman in questions.

Thanx again Kim, you're one in a million!!
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Monday Male

Remember I told you about a week ago I was going to have a male Guest Blogger visiting us, to give us gals a male perspective on general stuff?  Well, I've decided to make a feature out of it as I've had a few positive responses on being a male guest on my wee blog.  Who would've known?




So, let me introduce to you Blase over at My Game..It's Your Move.  He's a southern boi from Raleigh, North Carolina, is extremely opinionated and incredibly witty and funny.  He loves his salt water aquarium,  music and spanking (but thats another animal altogether).  He has some warped points of view but never fails to entertain me and his followers almost daily with his original blog posts.  Blase, has a brilliant variety of followers and regularly blogs  "You Say, I Say" posts where he replies on his reader's comments and I look forward to these.

Get to know him better through this question and answer session I had with him.  Be sure to give his blog a visit too.


1.How long have you been blogging?

Since the last week in March of 09

2. Why did you start blogging?

I enjoy communicating, expressing my thoughts, and entertaining. I talked it over with SB, and she recommended that I pursue blogging believing that I would do well with it.

3. What do you blog about mostly?

I think you would have to ask my readers, because I sure as hell don't know. My Blog is like a Box of Chocolates...

4. Have you ever serenaded a girl?

Hold on, I need to grab my dictionary. OH, why of course! I once posted about the time I serenaded SB and a few dozen others during our Ocean Cruise back in 2000. I think it is called Karaoke?? Someone grabbed SB's camera and took one of her standing and applauding me while I performed. It wasn't long afterwards that I discovered that "serenading" peaked SB's sexual drive in a way that I will never forget. You are welcome to find it at my Blog and read about our post-serenade sexcapade.

5. What are your five non-negotiables in a woman?

No smoking. I don't kiss cigarette trays...
If you can't handle the truth, then shut the hell up with your questions
A woman that tends to forget who is wearing the penis in our relationship
Prone to complain. You know, she isn't satisfied until she says something negative in every damn situation
A woman that 'let's herself go'. Too much gaining of weight is being disrespectful of her man/husband. Please your man by taking care of your health/figure.

6. What song would you choose as the soundtrack of your life?

'I still haven't found what I'm looking for'. No, just kidding. 'Stuck in the middle with You', because much of my life I've felt like a Tampon trying to please everyone around me. Again, just kidding. Um..well.... how 'bout -'You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet', by BTO. I'm always trying to outdo some mutherfucker...

7. What is your favourite thing about your hometown where you stay and why?

Me and the wife live in a wealthy area (even though we lack wealth) which gives us easy access to most everything we need or want. We are about 3 hours drive from the Smokey Mountains/Blue Ridge Mountains, and about 2 hours from the Atlantic Coast. And, between where we live to anywhere we go...it seems there are McDonalds EVERYWHERE! I love me some Big Macs!

8. What do you wish someone had told you before you got married?

Don't ever get married! Let's see....Actually I've had more than one elderly woman advise me that I should make it clear to my wife the way it's going to be, right from the 'get go'. I guess I was fortunate to have gotten some words of wisdom.

9. Do you think men really understand women or do they just "wing it" and pretend?

It's on an individual basis. You can't get one answer by categorizing. More men "understand" women better than they pretend. It is one thing to "understand", it is another to tolerate and accept. So, we 'understand' why women are complicated, but having what it takes to live with it, is another animal altogether.

10. What is the correct answer when your woman asks "Does my arse look fat in this?"

First of all, MY woman will already understands that if she asks me a question, she will receive an honest answer. Trying to figure out if I should tell the truth on THIS one, or lie about it.....well, I just don't have time for that shit. "Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies" is foreign to my vocabulary.

11.Do you think all women want is security, money, companionship and someone to nag?

It's not what I "think".....it's a Fact! But, that doesn't mean that she must attain it. Your key-word was "want".


12. Do all men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women?

Again, this is one you can't categorize. So, no, I don't think "all" men want that. I'm one that does. But, even if she has all that, it doesn't mean that she will not lack in other areas. And, those traits will not guarantee that she will make a great wife/companion.

13. Do men always long for the bachelor life once they find themselves in a long-term committed relationship?

Some do, some don't. Despite what society wants you to believe about us men, all men are not at the same levels regarding the 'typical' traits in men. Having said the aforementioned, most any man will ponder the idea of "bachelorhood" if the woman gets out-of-hand with her insecurities and hissy-fits.

14. Dinner party for four ? who would the other 3 people be that you invite?

My wife and any two other women that have that 'look' in their eyes. I've always wanted a foursome! Dinner, I'm referring to DINNER.

15. What is your favourite quote?

"Things are not always what they appear to be".
This quote prevents one from coming to judgment too quickly.

Thanks and again for participating, Blase!

Stay tuned for another "Monday Male" and a look through another man's eyes next week.
Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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Surprise! Coming Soon....Guest Blogger

I am soopa excited to tell you I have a Surprise Guest Blogger coming to these parts very soon, Plonkers.


I figured because I have so many female readers and followers, I would ask one of my fellow male bloggers some questions that women want to know the answers to, and have him a voice on my wee blog. 


If all goes well with my Guinea Pig, I may have to ask some of my other fellow male bloggers to do the same.


Stay tuned and keep visiting over the next few days to find out who it is.


Toodle Pip!Source URL: http://gerberadaisyduke.blogspot.com/search/label/monday%20male
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